Teach Your Dog
to Meet and Greet

If your dog learns good manners, this can help him
have better (and safer) canine relationships.

Dog Watch Ask the Doctor

Dr. Suzanne Hetts
Animal Behavior Network

Many dogs have a difficult time “playing well with others.” This problem tends to be worse when the dogs are on-leash rather than off. Our one-year-old Irish setter puppy, Coral, is an exception. Her behavior illustrates a few important ideas about how you can help your dog learn to play well with others before problems develop.


Coral does not like to have other dogs rush up to her. An over-enthusiastic greeting from a friendly dog that is much larger than she is will intimidate her. Coral needs a minute or so to size up the other dog. She will back away several steps – trying to put some distance between herself and the other dog – and slow down the greeting a bit. Coral wants to take her time performing the normal canine version of a “hand-shake,” by mutual “rear-end” sniffing not once, but several times. Sniffing then progresses to the ears and the face. If this initial get-to-know-you sequence is completed in a somewhat dignified manner, Coral is more than willing to be friends.


A Proper Hello Many dogs seem not to have learned this slower, ritualized greeting that is more typical of wild canids. Instead, they run up to other dogs in wild abandonment, with no respect for the other’s personal space. They forego the canine niceties and just blunder into rough and tumble play, jumping and pawing at their new friends. Other dogs may find this lack of social grace offensive, not friendly. They may in turn react with threats and aggression, and a fight ensues.


That’s why Coral does better greeting other dogs when both are on-leash. With the other dog restricted by the leash, Coral can more easily evade another dog’s over-enthusiastic advances until the greeting ritual is completed to her satisfaction. 


If your dog is a social blunderer, you can help her be more successful at making new friends by teaching her control. Rather than allowing her to rush up to another dog, begin to teach her to stand or sit still.


Work on these behaviors first in a quiet setting so that your dog learns what they are. Next, begin to add non-doggie distractions, such as another family member picking up one of her toys, or jumping around excitedly. Your dog needs to learn that no matter what exciting event is happening, she’ll be rewarded for keeping calm and staying still. 
When you start using other dogs as distractions, it’s likely you’ll have to start your training a fair distance away from them. It will be easier if you can first practice with other dogs that are familiar to your dog, before practicing the standing-still behavior when unfamiliar dogs approach. 


You may also find it easier if your dog is wearing a head collar such as the Gentle Leader, or one of the new no-pull harnesses. Avoid choke chains and pinch collars. Punishment or harsh corrections for not standing still will actually have the opposite effect, and teach your dog to anticipate “bad things” when another dog approaches. 
 Getting your dog to stand quietly is not the same thing as tightly holding onto the leash and pulling her away from the other dog. Those procedures usually promote “leash aggression,” in which dogs are more aggressive when encountering others on-leash than off. 


Leash aggression is generally caused by frustration and physical discomfort as owners pull and yank their dogs away from other dogs while the dogs are madly pulling and lunging in the other direction. Initially, many dogs just want to be friendly, but after repeated unpleasantness, the frustration turns into threats or aggression. If you are adept at shaping behaviors, you can also teach your dog to play-bow on cue. The play-bow is a ritualized, canine invitation to play. It communicates to other dogs that behaviors that follow should not be taken seriously. That’s one reason why dogs can show their teeth, bark and growl during play without fighting, because they’ve told one another this is play, not serious conflict.